


Disruptions in the Repeating Pattern

by slackerD



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femslash, Multi, Polyamory, Pre-Poly, Punky Monkey, cophine - Freeform, copunk, sarcophine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-08 16:46:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 11,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1948677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slackerD/pseuds/slackerD
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Cosima continues to try and find a cure, she and Sarah become even closer.  When Delphine returns, how will she figure into the changed dynamic?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So [kiarcheo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/kiarcheo/pseuds/kiarcheo) has this head canon about Sarah, Cosima and Delphine that can be found [here](http://kiarcheo.tumblr.com/post/89887666644/idk-about-others-but-im-curious-like-how-it-starts), that is awesome. And I've been given permission to take this idea and run with it. So here is the first of many connected one shots that will eventually lead to Sarah/Cosima/Delphine. Starts from Sarah visiting Marion Bowles at the end of 2x10 and goes AU from there.

Sarah feels uneasy about getting into the limo, despite Cal's assurances that they can trust Marion Bowles. She wonders if he's being naive for thinking that or if he's left out something vital about what was arranged by him and Mrs. S did while Sarah was at DYAD.

Eventually the car pulls up in front of what can only be classified as a mansion. The driver exits and opens the door for Sarah before knocking on the front door. Sarah's led inside and left in an ornate sitting room. The house is eerily quiet and there's a tray of tea on the table in front of her. It feels a little too perfect and Sarah tries to appear relaxed as she takes in her surroundings.

Minutes later, Sarah hears heels coming her way and turns to find Marion entering.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she says, though she's obviously not. 

Sarah wants to roll her eyes. As if she didn't already know who holds all the power in this situation—she may not like it, but she can admit it. Instead, she simply nods as Marion sits across from her.

"Tea?"

Sarah shakes her head.

"Well first things first," Marion begins as she pours tea for herself. "I have been put in charge of DYAD temporary since Rachel is... incapacitated for the moment."

Sarah barely holds back her smirk at this news; though it's not like Sarah trust Marion any more than she trusted Rachel. 

"Also, Dr. Cormier has been assigned another position and sent to Frankfurt," Marion continues.

"Germany?" Sarah asks. "For how long?"

"I can't say," Marion replies, holding up a hand to stop Sarah's interjection. "Because of what Rachel set up before... everything happened, she will be there for a while. I am working on getting her back, but it will take some time."

Sarah thinks of Cosima. Last night's conversation is forcing Sarah to admit that Cosima's time is more limited than anyone would like to think about. And though Sarah might not be Delphine's biggest fan, the fact that she loves Cosima is indisputable. She should be here with her, not Germany. 

"Sooner, rather than later, I realize," Marion continues. "However, as I'm sure you're aware, Rachel is very thorough."

"Yeah, but if you're the director now, why can't you just call her back?" Sarah questions.

"As I said, Rachel is very thorough," Marion replies. "And I cannot simply bring her back on a whim. While an... understanding was reached between myself and your people—"

"My people?"

"Cal Morrison and Siobhan Sadler. Surely they told you?"

Cal had said a few things last night, but Sarah had been caught up in other things and there hadn't really been time. "I haven't seen Mrs. S since I turned myself in," Sarah answers.

"Yes, well, I'm sure she'll explain things soon."

"So what exactly are the terms of this deal?" Sarah asks, worried about what had been agreed to on her behalf, without her consent.

"Unfortunately, one of the terms was that Cal and Siobhan explain things to you."

Sarah chuckles darkly. "Convenient."

"What I can tell you, Sarah," Marion says. "Is that, for now, DYAD will stay out of your way."

"What about Alison and Cosima?"

"Theirs as well," Marion agrees. "And your brother also." 

"For now?"

Marion pauses solemnly. "Until Cosima is cured or... no longer with us."

Sarah grimaces, pushing down the agony that this statement creates. "And how exactly is Cosima supposed to be cured? Without Delphine or access to a lab..."

"It is unfortunate," Marion agrees. "However, those are the terms. But as a gesture of good will, I did allow Mr. Smith access to as much of the information and research in relation to Cosima's case as possible before he left DYAD yesterday."

"Who?"

"Scott Smith," Marion explains. "He was working with your sister and Dr. Cormier on the cure. He also made sure that Cosima got out, I believe. He is free to do what he wants with his time."

"How generous of you," Sarah says, wryly. Thinking back to the unknown—to her at the time—tech who had loosened her restraint and handed her the keycard, Sarah has a thought. "Does that mean he's safe as well?" Will he get in trouble for helping them escape?

"Safe?"

Knowing that plausible deniability is everyone's best option, Sarah treads lightly. "So if Scott continues to help Cosima work on the cure... does that mean he'll be immune as well? That DYAD will leave him alone?"

"Mr. Smith has no reason to be concerned," Marion answers.

"And so you'll leave the people who help us alone?" Sarah asks, thinking of Art and anyone else who might get sucked in.

"That was more Rachel's approach to things," Marion says. "I prefer a different method."

"Yeah, well, excuse me for not finding that comforting," Sarah retorts.

"I realize that you have no reason to trust me," Marion replies. "But as someone who oversees DYAD, I do want Cosima to be cured."

"And yet you can't bring back Delphine or give us access to the labs," Sarah clarifies.

"I'm taking a large personal risk here, Sarah," Marion says. "While all those involved would be pleased if a cure was figured out, it is not necessarily part of their larger goal."

"So then what's in it for you?" Sarah asks.

"I have my own reasons for wanting a cure to be found."

"Such as?" Sarah asks.

"Now isn't really the time for that discussion."

Sarah sighs, knowing she's gotten all the information she's going to get at the moment. "Yeah, well, if that's all you've got to say..." She stands.

"Of course," Marion says, standing as well.

They walk to the door in silence.

"The car will drive you back," Marion says. "We'll be in touch."

"Monitoring from afar, I'm sure," Sarah retorts.

"It would be in everyone's best interest if Cosima didn't try and contact Dr. Cormier at the moment."

"Why the bloody hell not?"

"You'll have to trust me," Marion replies. "It will make things easier in the long run."

"As if we have a choice," Sarah tells her. "But fine. If it means that getting her back sooner, we'll wait. For now."

"Thank you."

Sarah simply nods before heading outside. The driver is standing next to the door, which he opens, allowing her to slide inside. The drive back to Felix's gives her plenty of time to think. She needs to talk to Cal and maybe Mrs. S before deciding their next move. But at least for the moment, she relax and just breath.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Knowing that Cosima can't really smoke anymore, Sarah gets in contact with an old contact who delivers pot brownies to the loft.

Knowing that Cosima can't really smoke anymore, Sarah gets in touch with an old contact who delivers pot brownies to the loft. Kira is spending the afternoon with Cal and Felix made himself scarce, so they have the loft to themselves.

Because of that, Cosima pursues Sarah to join her. Sarah's always avoided any sort of drug use—it had always been too dangerous of a choice for her. With everything else she'd done, Sarah knew that Mrs. S wouldn't let her within a thousand feet of Kira if she suspected drug use. But here in Fe's loft, Cosima teasingly demanding it, Sarah can't say no.

"I gotta say, Sarah," Cosima says after three, curled up on the bed, her head in Sarah's lap, hands fascinated with the fabric of Sarah's jeans as Sarah idly plays with her dreads. "You're friends with some really awesome dealers."

Sarah laughs because she's high and Cosima's being cuter than usual and the pot has made it easier to pretend that their lives aren't a constant shit storm of angst and running. "Least something good came out of hooking up with Vic."

Cosima looks up at Sarah, eyes suddenly sharp, as if she's trying to figure something out. It's an odd angle, Cosima on her side and only turning her head. Because of this, Sarah's not really sure what she sees flash across Cosima's face

"Maybe one day, you'll kiss someone for the right reason," Cosima finally says.

"I thought you liked Cal," Sarah replies. Because how else was she supposed to take her and Alison's reaction after meeting him?

"I do," Cosima assures her, hastily, as if Sarah's offended instead of just confused. "But I just worry about you."

The deliberate vagueness is even harder to decipher high—it's also kinda messing with her buzz, which is actually the most annoying part of the conversation. It makes her wish that the plate of brownies wasn't so far away. " _Cos_..." she huffs, not even sure what she's asking.

Cosima takes pity on her. "I just... Are you with Cal because you want to be? Or because he's Kira's father?"

Oh.

Her inability to answer probably speaks volumes. Sarah lets her head fall back onto the pillow, unwilling to meet Cosima's eye.

"Hey, don't be like that," Cosima says, tugging the bottom of Sarah's shirt. "No judgments, right?"

"Yeah," Sarah sighs, lifting her head, which for some reason, feels a bit rubbery. 

"I shouldn't have said anything," Cosima adds, watching Sarah carefully.

"It's fine."

"We should have another brownie," Cosima suggests.

"Hoping I'll forget what just happened?" Sarah grins.

"I just like seeing you smile."

"Same here," Sarah replies as Cosima reaches for her hand. She watches as Cosima lays it palm up on the bed, her fingers drawing patterns across Sarah's skin.

They lay like that for a bit, quiet as Cosima maps out—what feels like to Sarah—the Golden Ratio again and again on Sarah's palm while Sarah lets her other hand draw random designs up and down Cosima's back.

"Can I ask you something?" Cosima asks eventually.

"Like I could stop you," Sarah retorts quietly. She'd been enjoying the comfortable silence.

"Will you answer me honestly, when I do?"

Sarah feels like she's walking into a trap—especially since she usually is pretty honest with Cosima, and being anything less now seems... unforgiveable. "What's your question?"

"When you were pretending to be Alison, did you have to kiss Donnie?"

"What?" Sarah sputters. 

"You've kissed everyone else's monitor," Cosima explains and Sarah can easily hear the smirk in her voice.

"I've kissed two," Sarah reminds her. "And one I actively tried to avoid."

" _Actively_?"

" _Cos_."

"So that's a no then, huh?"

"When would I have kissed him?" Sarah counters. "That time he was tied up and covered in hot glue or maybe when Alison was in rehab?"

"Right. Good point," Cosima nods. "Those were the only two times? Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sarah retorts.

"Okay."

Sarah waits, knowing that the conversation's not done.

"So who's a better kisser?" Cosima asks a moment later.

"Huh?"

"Seriously, who's better? Paul? Or Delphine?

"I'm not answering that."

"This is a serious scientific inquiry," Cosima says.

"Yeah?" Sarah scoffs. "Explain it to me, then."

"Like is it required that our monitors be romantic interests?"

"Probably just easier that way," Sarah continues, shrugging away her shudder at the flashes of her violation. "What with the whole midnight probing."

"True," Cosima agrees.

"And not everyone's monitor is their partner," Sarah muses, thinking of Tony. It obviously never got confirmed, but if Sammy knew Paul...

"Romantic partner, anyway," Cosima adds, obviously following Sarah's train of thought. "So who's better?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Scientific curiosity," Cosima replies.

"Stop hiding behind science," Sarah retorts. 

"You need to be more respectful," Cosima chastises. "Science saved your ass."

Sarah rolls her eyes, even if it's true. They lapse into silence again and Sarah thinks that maybe Cosima's going to let it go.

" _So_?"

" _No_."

"I knew it!" Cosima exclaims.

"Knew what?"

"You think Delphine's a better kisser than Paul," Cosima explains.

"What? No? Why would you..."

"Why else would you refuse to answer?"

"Maybe I didn't want to hurt your feelings when I said Paul," Sarah scoffs.

"Since when?"

Sarah laughs. 

"I can't wait to tell Delphine," Cosima continues. And then quickly sobers.

"Hey," Sarah says, pulling Cosima into a hug. "We know she's still alive and it's only a matter of time before she's back here with you, yeah?"

Cosima nods against Sarah's arm.

"I mean, I'm not sure how much I trust Marion bloody Bowles, but Cal's been looking into things and everything she told me seems to be true," Sarah continues.

"What do you think the other terms of the deal are?" Cosima questions.

Sarah shrugs. "Mrs. S has most of the answers it seems. And she's nowhere to be found."

"We'll figure it out Sarah," Cosima tells her. "Besides, we have a few things that DYAD and the others don't know about."

"Yeah."

"We take advantage of the freedom we have now," Cosima says, tightening her arms around Sarah. "And then when they come after us again later, we'll be ready."

Sarah nods, though she feels like there's something huge she's missing. There's still too many secrets out there being kept by too many people she's supposed to be able to trust.

"They'll be plenty of time for shitkicking people later, all right?"

"Cause that's all I'm good for?" Sarah retorts. She's mostly teasing, but she does sometimes worry.

"You also make an excellent pillow," Cosima replies. "And don't be like that. We wouldn't have gotten this far without you."

"Yeah..."

"I'm getting us another brownie," Cosima announces.

"Hell no, you're not," Sarah retorts.

"Why not? We have a whole plateful left," Cosima protests.

Sarah rolls her eyes. "Because you're staying put and I'm getting them," she replies, sliding out of Cosima's arms and standing.

She smiles and Sarah has a flash of a world without Cosma, her sister still so pale despite the happiness she's radiating. Sarah shakes it off as she descends the stairs and looks for the plate of brownies. Now isn't the time for thoughts like that. Besides, they have time and resources and hope. 

Finding the plate in the kitchen, Sarah carries it back to the bed and hands it to Cosima. Sarah lays back down and Cosima sets the plate on Sarah's lap before curling into her side.

"Cheers," Cosima says, holding up her brownie and tapping it against Sarah's.

"God you're such a nerd," Sarah snorts.

"Whatever, you love me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After five days of no word from Mrs. S, Sarah decides to investigate.

After five days of no word from Mrs. S, Sarah decides to investigate. Something's not right and when she asks Cal about it, he has no idea. The more questions she asks, the more Sarah wonders how much he was really involved in the deal, because it's starting to look more and more like Mrs. S's handiwork.

So though she hates to do it, Sarah leaves Kira and Cosima under the watchful eyes of Cal and Felix, takes the gun she still has, and heads over to Mrs. S's house.

Besides the fact that it's obvious that no one's home, the house looks fine. She still has to break in, not having a key, but sees no other choice in the matter. Hopefully she was quick enough that they neighbors didn't notice and call the police.

The house is jarringly silent and feels like it's been empty for days. Still, she can't afford to take chances, so she explores the first and second floor with the gun drawn. The basement is her final destination and it's deserted too.

It isn't until she's in the kitchen, looking for something to drink, that she sees it, an envelope with her name sprawled on it in S's familiar script. 

Inside is a house key and nothing else; no note or reason. As someone who has disappeared plenty, Sarah probably has no right to be upset, but she is—though not for herself, but for Kira and Felix.

But the lack of a note or explanation does worry her.

The second time she goes through the house, she tries to take in details, trying to gauge what's missing or gone, or if anything's out of place, but it's been too long and so she can really only guess.

She heads back to the loft, not sure what to do next.

The others look up expectantly when she arrives. She doesn't say anything, instead getting herself a drink before slumping onto the couch next to Cosima. Kira looks up from her drawing and Sarah notices idly that she's drawn her newest uncle and four aunts, but that Rachel has an eye patch. She half chokes on her drink as she laughs, wondering if the others have noticed. It's probably a sign that they should be more careful what they say around Kira.

"Well?" Felix asks exasperated.

"She's gone."

"Gone?"

Sarah nods. "House is empty. Has been empty."

"Maybe she went out," Cal suggests.

"She left me the key," Sarah tells them.

"What did her note say?" Cosima asks.

"No note," Sarah replies.

"But she left a key?" Cal questions.

Sarah nods.

"So does that mean that we're going home?" Kira asks, her attention back on her coloring.

"You think it's safe?" Felix asks.

"We gotta go somewhere," Sarah tells him. "Especially if Cos is going to start working on Duncan's notes."

"It's not like people wouldn't think to look for us here, anyway," Cosima points out. "Or anywhere. They'll find us, if they really want."

"She swore that you'd be left alone," Cal adds.

For now, Sarah thinks sourly.

"It'd be nice to have your crazy clone drama out of my space," Felix agrees. "It's killing my creativity."

Kira must take this as a decision made, because she stands and begins gathering her things.

"So I guess it's happening now?" Cal says, watching her.

"You okay with that, Cos?" Sarah asks.

"Oh yeah," Cosima replies. "Then maybe Scott and I can get started tomorrow."

Cosima's the one steering things now—in Sarah's mind anyway—and so she stands and begins helping her daughter pack up her stuff. As they're leaving, Felix included, Sarah notices Kira's drawing that has drifted onto the floor. Impulsively, she grabs it and decides it should be hung on the fridge. She has a feeling she's going to need the amusement she felt at seeing Rachel with an eye patch in the days to come.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Scott and Cosima begin working.

Scott's not sure what he finds more surprising, the call from Cosima or the invite over. The conversation is brief, but info packed and he's feeling a bit overwhelmed when he hangs up. There's a lot to think about, but the knowledge that there won't be any consequences from helping Cosima, Sarah and Kira is a relief. Especially since DYAD is no longer as impressive as they first appeared. Meeting Cosima—a freaking clone—is part of it. But what they seemed willing to do to Sarah, in the name of science is majorly freaking too.

As he knocks on the door, he's a bit nervous. After Cosima admitted that she was 324B21, she'd shared a bit about the others: Beth the cop who'd jumped in front of a train, Alison the soccer mom from Scarborough, Helena the abused, misled killer and Sarah the restless survivor, who's been pushing things forward. He's curious to meet them all, but Sarah especially. He's seen what Cosima's capable of and what she's willing to do for Sarah and vice versa. He just hopes he can continue to help and not let anyone down.

He meets Kira who is very excited to meet him. Apparently she overheard what he and Cosima did with the fire extinguisher. She pulls him to the fridge and shows him the picture she drew that has Rachel Duncan with only one eye. He's both horrified and impressed.

"Great picture, yeah?" Sarah asks.

"Uh, yeah, it's... something."

He can feel Sarah staring at him and tries not to squirm, unsure what she's looking for.

"Thanks," she says finally.

"Uh, what?"

"Thanks," Sarah repeats. "For looking after Cosima at DYAD. With Rachel sending Delphine to Germany, I... Just thanks."

"Oh. Right. You're welcome. I mean, it's Cosima, right?"

"Yeah, it is."

He's definitely missing something, but just nods. 

"So you nerds are going to figure out Duncan's notes?" she asks.

"As if there's any doubt," Cosima says from the table.

"I should probably grab the stuff I got from DYAD," Scott offers.

"Want help?"

He nods and Sarah follows him out to his car.

He'd managed to get a lot, stealing a cart and piling it with boxes in record time. It helped that they were more concerned about Sarah and Rachel at the time.

It takes three trips to bring it all in and even though he knows most of it is probably useless, he still feels some pride at their reactions to all he managed to take.

Sarah and Kira begin sorting through the boxes while Cosima shows Scott Duncan's book. At one point, he happens to glance up and notices the tank in the corner.

"What's that?"

"Embryos."

"Uh... Where'd..."

"They're Auntie Helena's," Kira says.

Scott looks at Sarah. "But I thought you were the only one who..."

Sarah sighs. "We're twins."

"Whoa. A twin and a clone. That's like..."

Sarah scowls at him.

"Right. Sorry. Just another expected, unexplained variable."

"You sound like Cosima," Sarah retorts.

Cosima chuckles and they return to the book.

They work for hours. Sarah and Kira hover nearby, always within visual range and every time he looks up, Scott notices Sarah gazing at Cosima with an unreadable expression. Cosima's focused enough that she doesn't seem to notice, which impresses Scott even more because Sarah's stare feels heavier each time he looks up.

They end up moving to the couch as the afternoon turns to evening and though he thinks they should probably stop soon since Cosima seems to be exhausted, he knows better than to suggest it.

It's eventually Sarah who decides that they're done.

"I'm putting Kira to bed," she announces. "And when I come back, I'm cutting you both off."

"Cutting us off?" Cosima questions, amused. "Is happy hour over already?"

Sarah just shakes her head and leads Kira upstairs, but not before pointing at Cosima, a warning look on her face.

"We've made good progress," he says once Sarah and Kira are upstairs.

Cosima sighs. "Yeah, I know."

"I'll be back tomorrow," he tells her. "And every day until DYAD, uh, calls me back in."

"That won't be for a while," Cosima says.

"Cause I'm probably fired, right?"

"Uh, no," Cosima replies. "More like you're supposed to be helping me."

He looks at her blankly.

"According to Sarah, you're allowed to do what you want without worry," Cosima explains. "She made sure you got immunity or whatever."

"Uh..." He doesn't know what to say.

Cosima sees this. "I know, right?"

They try to finish up the section they're working on before Sarah comes back down—because Scott has no doubt that she meant what she said. For which he's grateful since Cosima looks totally wiped.

They just manage to finish as they hear Sarah's boots on the steps.

"You nerds done?" Sarah calls out as she enters.

"For now," Cosima replies.

Scott stands. "I'll see you guys tomorrow?"

"Obvs," Cosima tells him, grinning.

Sarah follows him to the door. He stops in the open doorway. "She'll, uh... I mean, you'll... And I just..."

Sarah's scowling again and he doesn't blame her since he can't seem to finish a thought. "Night."

She snorts in amusement and nods, half pushing him out by closing the door on him.

He walks to his car, now void of boxes. Time might be running out, but he can do some more work when he gets home and come back tomorrow with possibilities.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira and Cosima conspire against Sarah.

Cosima refuses to stay downstairs, because she's not an invalid and so she and Sarah are sharing the guest room. And though she needs Sarah's help to get up the stairs, she's determined. Of course, each day it seems to get more and more difficult, to the point that one night, Sarah actually ends up carrying Cosima up the last half of the stairs. It catches Cosima off guard, because though she knows Sarah's strong, they are the same size and it's not exactly easy to pick someone up while on a step, especially with the tenderness that Sarah does. Cosima really should know better; underestimating Sarah is what has led to the downfall of many, she thinks with a smirk.

"What the bloody hell is so funny?" Sarah says, collapsing on the bed next to her.

Cosima's glad that Sarah carried the Oxygen tank up first, because it looks doubtful that Sarah would be able to get it now.

"Just imagining you carrying other people up the stairs," Cosima laughs. "I'm surprised you never had to carry a passed out Alison."

"Piss off," Sarah retorts. "You're the only one I'd bother with."

"Ditto, obvs," Cosima says. 

They get into an argument the next morning when Cosima insists on heading back downstairs. Sarah not wanting a repeat of the night before.

"You're lucky I didn't drop you," she points out. 

Cosima hears the fear in her voice and tries to reassure her, "You did great."

"Says the one who was being carried," Sarah replies. "Besides, that was the adrenaline kicking in."

"Well, I can't stay up here and do nothing," Cosima says.

"Yeah? Got any other suggestions, then?"

"I have an idea mommy," Kira pipes up.

She'd been quiet on the bed, next to Cosima, content to listen to them argue. She seems to enjoy any sort of interaction between her mom and her aunts.

"What's that monkey?" Sarah asks, a hint of surprise in her tone.

"A piggy back ride," Kira answers. "It's carrying, but easier."

"That actually kind of makes sense," Cosima says.

"Says the one being carried," Sarah repeats.

"Can we just try it?" Cosima asks.

"And if we fall down the stairs?" Sarah counters.

"Then Kira can call Felix or Cal to helps us," Cosima tells her. "Plus, you'll totally break my fall."

Kira giggles.

Sarah sighs. "You know where my phone is, monkey?"

Kira nods, grinning widely. 

"Fine," Sarah huffs, standing.

They make their way to the stairs and Sarah takes the Oxygen tank down first. She then stands two steps from the top and Cosima wraps her arms around Sarah's neck as Sarah pulls her legs around her waist. It's slow going—especially with Sarah grumbling the whole time about being a bloody fucking pack mule while Cosima tries not to laugh—but they make it down in one piece.

"That wasn't so bad," Cosima asks, once her feet are on the ground again.

"Says the one who was carried," Sarah retorts.

"You could've just said no," Cosima reminds her as she slips the cannula tube back on.

"I did!"

"Barely."

"It's cause it was my idea," Kira whispers loudly to Cosima. "Mommy can't say no to both of us."

Cosima laughs. "That's totes true."

Sarah groans.

"What else do you think we can get her to do?" Cosima asks as they walk towards the kitchen.

"I'm ignoring both of you," Sarah says opening the fridge.

Cosima can hear her still muttering to herself. Something about bloody trouble making monkeys. Glancing at Kira, Cosima can tell that she hears it too and they share a giggle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cal takes Kira for the day, leaving Sarah with time to think.

Kira is with Cal for the day, giving Sarah even less to do than usual. Cal had suggested Sarah come as well, but she'd declined. She hated to do it, but she just can't leave Cosima. Even if they're making progress, time is not their friend and Sarah hates the fact that every morning she wakes up fearful that Cosima won't. Dad and daughter seem to understand this—especially Kira.

Of course without Kira, Sarah has even less to keep her occupied. It's not like she can help with the science. Though Cosima has been talking over things with Sarah at night. Neither of them fall asleep easily and so Cosima talks about what she and Scott have worked on that day. Sarah, admittedly, understands very little, but talking it over and explaining things seems to help—or at least that's what Cosima claims. 

It's why Sarah eventually ends up on the couch attempting to read Darwin. She knows it's not exactly relevant, but she has to start somewhere and it's definitely one of Cosima's most read books. It's slow going and she really has no idea how much she's really absorbing, especially since she's having a difficult time concentrating.

Sarah doesn't really know how to just be. It's been a long time since she's been able to. She's always been restless, even before the clone thing, staying put had been difficult. She had tried for Kira's sake, but she hadn't been ready. Sarah wonders if she hadn't seen Beth top herself, would she have been able to be the mom Kira needs. Meeting the others has changed her and her priorities, obviously. It's been good for her and Felix, she thinks. They've only really had each other for so long—and even though she tried, Sarah couldn't completely be who Felix needed. But now they have Cosima and Alison and Helena and Tony and who knows how many other; and even Delphine. And if DYAD—well Marion Bowles—comes after them again, they'll still have each other. They really are stronger together.

Sarah does wonder about Helena. This time she's really not sure where her twin is, but she knows she can take care of herself. She wishes she'd had a chance to talk to her before she'd taken off, but Helena needs so much more than Sarah can give and she probably realized that. No matter how hard Sarah tries, she's always letting someone down. If it was anyone other than Helena, Sarah would worry, but she survived a bullet to the heart, so Sarah knows that she'll be seeing Helena again.

When Cal brings Kira back, he also brings pizza for everyone, for which Sarah is grateful, cooking is definitely not her strong suit.

The nerds eat in the kitchen, still working while Sarah, Cal and Kira eat in the other room. Kira and Cal tell Sarah about their day at the aquarium and Sarah realizes how lucky she is that Cal's been so great after all she's put him through. Cosima's question about him echoes through her mind and she pushes it aside. Now isn't the time for that. Instead she lets herself enjoy the moment and the smile on her daughter's face.

"Thanks again," Sarah says as she steps outside with Cal.

"I really don't mind," Cal replies. "Our daughter's pretty amazing."

"Yeah, she is," Sarah agrees. "But I meant thanks for... understanding everything else."

"She'll be okay, Sarah," Call tells her.

"You don't know that," Sarah protests as she tries to swallow down the fear that rises whenever she thinks of Cosima dying.

Cal pulls her into a hug and she lets herself sink into his embrace. After a long moment, he kisses her and it's full of comfort and love and promises and so many other things that she's afraid she can't live up to. Still she kisses him back, hoping she's wrong.

A giggling Kira draws their attention and they turn towards the house.

"Mommy, it's story time," Kira announces.

"Be right there, monkey," Sarah calls back. "Sorry."

"It's fine," he says. "Story time is very important. I'll talk to you later?"

Sarah nods as they pull apart. She stays there and watches him walk to the camper before turning around and heading back inside.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira likes living with her mom and aunt.

Living at Mrs. S's with her mom and Auntie Cosima is great. Her mom has always tried her hardest and this time Kira thinks she'll stick around. Uncle Felix thinks so too, so Kira tries to stop being scared of being left behind. And she finally got to meet her dad; before Kira wasn't allowed to even ask questions about him.

Her mom is still worried and doesn't like to leave Auntie Cosima alone, so Kira spends time with her dad, just the two of them. He's been taking to her to all kinds of cool places.

Kira thought she was lucky to have Mrs. S and her Uncle Felix and sometimes her mom. But now she has a dad and aunts and another uncle—even if she hasn't met him yet. She knows that Rachel is her aunt too, but she had been kind of scary. Kira wonders if losing her eye will make her meaner. She draws pictures of Rachel, hoping it will make her smile.

Kira's favorite part of the day is story time. Though Auntie Cosima picks out the books, her mom is the one who reads to them since Auntie Cosima coughs a lot. It scares her mom, but not Kira. Professor Duncan told her that his book would fix everything because Auntie Cosima would know what to do with it. Kira got the biggest hug ever when she showed it to her aunt, so she knows everything will be okay.

They're currently reading _The City of Gold and Lead_ , one of Auntie Cosima's favorites from when she was a kid. Her mom had thought she was too young to read _The Tripods Trilogy_ , but Auntie Cosima eventually changed her mind. Kira wonders why her parents keep doing that; just because she's eight, doesn't mean she doesn't understand things. How can her mom think she's the bravest thing ever, but still think she's too young to read a book her aunt read when she was twelve? Besides, Auntie Cosima is there to explain things. And her mom smiles a lot at her aunt's excitement.

Some nights, Kira and Cosima fall asleep while her mom is reading and so Kira will wake up the next morning warm and safe between her mom and aunt. And then she and her mom will tip toe downstairs and make breakfast. Her mom might not be the best cook, but she can make breakfast.

Kira likes to bring the breakfast up to Auntie Cosima because she knows that her mom worries and keeping her aunt in bed longer makes her mom happy. And then she grumbles less about carrying Auntie Cosima down the stairs. Even though Kira knows that she really doesn't mind. Her mom is smiling a lot more than she remembers.

Kira just hopes that once Auntie Cosima's better that things stay kind of the same. She wants to keep living with her mom and aunt and seeing cool things with her dad. She wants to visit Uncle Felix and eat Jell-o with Auntie Helena and meet Uncle Tony. And Mrs. S will come back and see that her mom is doing a good job and she'll get to stay with her.

But no one has any answers right now and Kira's used to waiting. So she draws pictures of what she hopes will happen, loving the fact that her mom hangs them on the fridge.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Alison stop by for a visit.

It's Felix's idea that they hang out. He insists, saying that she and Scott need a break.

"Get lonely at your place without us?" Cosima teases.

"Are you kidding? Five whole days of no one bursting in unannounced, needing something? It's a bloody miracle," Felix retorts.

"So you decided to burst in on us?" Sarah counters.

"Missed you too," Felix smirks as he drops onto the couch next to Sarah.

"You gonna join us, Alison?" Cosima asks.

"Is it really necessary that we all sit on the couch?" Alison questions. "I hardly think that—"

A nod from Sarah has Felix pulling her onto the couch next to him and she lets out a squeak of surprise.

They sit awkwardly for a moment and Cosima bursts out laughing at Alison's expression—she might be more comfortable around them, but she's still not one for burrowing together on the couch.

Beyond stating that things are going well, they don't talk too much about what Cosima and Scott are working on. Cosima asks how things are going with Donnie and Alison seems optimistic. Apparently finding out about the clones has really helped their marriage.

Kira, who has been coloring nearby, perks up at the mention of Gemma and Oscar. "Can I meet them?" she asks.

"I'm not sure, monkey," Sarah replies.

"Why not?"

"They don't know about us," Sarah clarifies.

"Auntie Alison can tell them and then bring them over," Kira replies, as if they're all being idiots.

"We weren't really planning on telling them," Felix explains.

"Why not?"

"We weren't planning on telling you either, monkey," Sarah tells her. "You're just too smart for your own good."

"Oh."

"Maybe one day," Cosima offers.

"What?" Alison exclaims.

"When they're older and can understand it better, obvs," Cosima says.

"I..."

"You're kind of stuck with us, now, Alison," Sarah points out. "And they already love Felix."

"Well Felix is special," Alison argues.

"And that's why you're my favorite," Felix grins.

"Oi, real nice, Fe," Sarah says, elbowing him.

"But I can meet Auntie Helena's kid, right?" Kira asks.

They all fall silent as Kira confirms what they've all been avoiding talking about.

"As long as Helena is okay with it, monkey," Sarah says, finally.

"She will be," Kira assures them.

Felix clears his throat. "Um, should we maybe—"

"We'll deal with it when we have to," Sarah interrupts.

"As usual," Felix says.

"If she was here, we would," Sarah replies. "But we don't even know where she is. And Helena can take care of herself."

"She did take out the Proletheans," Felix agrees.

"She what?" Alison questions.

"One less thing to worry about," Sarah replies.

It's such a Sarah reply that Cosima laughs, especially because Alison seems so horrified.

"Maybe we should talk about something else," Felix suggests.

"Like?" Sarah retorts.

"How's Cal?" Felix asks,

"Fine," Sarah replies. "Spending time with Kira."

"That's good," Alison says.

"And he's fine with..." Felix questions.

"Yeah," Sarah says.

"Hmph."

Alison eventually heads home to have dinner with her family and Felix has a date. Though Cosima enjoys seeing them, she's tiring more easily than she'd like to admit, (Sarah knows—obviously—and has her own methods of coercion) so it's probably better that they only hang out for a few hours. She, Sarah and Kira eat dinner and watch a movie before heading upstairs for story time.

This has become Cosima's favorite part of the day. She and Kira snuggle together on the bed next to Sarah who is now the reader at her own insistence. Cosima doesn't mind because once Sarah got over whether or not her book choices were appropriate, it's obvious that she's enjoying it too.

After three chapters tonight, Sarah announces that it's time for Kira to go to bed and carries her into her room. Cosima uses this time to mark their place and get comfortable. Sarah's gone longer than usual this time, making Cosima curious. When she returns, there's a slight hesitation surrounding her as she climbs into bed.

"What's wrong?" Cosima asks.

"Nothing."

"Sarah..."

She sighs. "Just something Kira said."

A few different things run through Cosima's mind. "Was it about Gemma and Oscar?" she decides to ask.

"No," Sarah chuckles. "That, she seems to get."

"Then what?"

Sarah doesn't answer and so Cosima reaches out and laces their hands together, which has become a necessity for both of them. Cosima hopes that waiting Sarah out will encourage her to talk.

"Do you think Kira should be back at school?" Sarah asks, eventually.

It's not what was bothering her, but Cosima can tell that it's something she's been thinking about, so she allows the topic change.

"Probably," Cosima replies. "The return to routine and all that."

"I should have done it right away," Sarah says. "I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner."

"You had a lot on your mind," Cosima points out.

"Kira should be the priority," Sarah protests. "Mrs. S left her with me, believing I might actually be ready to be the mom my daughter deserves and what do I do? Keep her out of school."

Cosima squeezes Sarah's hand. "Sarah, no parent is perfect. Kira knows you love her and that you're trying. That's more than some kids get."

"Yeah..."

"And Kira seems to understand that things are crazy right now," Cosima continues. "Sometimes I think she understands things better than the rest of us."

Sarah laughs.

"Besides, you're not the only one involved here, right?" Cosima points out.

"You're saying I should talk to Cal?"

She hadn't been, but it's probably a good idea. The fact that Cosima had been referring to herself causes an odd feeling to settle into her stomach.

"We can figure it all out tomorrow," Cosima says.

"Okay," Sarah replies.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah makes some decisions.

Going against her instincts, Sarah has lunch with Cal and Kira in the camper the next day. She knows she's being ridiculous. They're parked in front of the house. Scott will call if anything happens. But Sarah is still anxious. However she also wants to talk about sending Kira back to school.

"So what's up?" Cal asks as soon as they sit down to eat.

"What do you mean?"

"The other day you could hardly bear to walk me out," Cal points out. "And now we're eating lunch in the camper."

"I thought we should talk about Kira," Sarah says.

"What about me?" Kira asks.

"What do you think about going back to school, monkey?" Sarah asks her.

"Why?"

"Because you should," Sarah replies. "You still have lots to learn. And you should be around kids your own age."

"Oh."

"It would be good for you," Cal agrees.

"We think it's a good idea," Sarah says.

"So now you're speaking for me?" Cal teases.

"Uh, no, actually," Sarah replies. "I mean me and Cos."

"Oh."

The look on Cal's face is eerily familiar to the one Cosima wore the night before when Sarah had brought up Cal. Sarah's not sure how to interpret it.

"If Auntie Cosima thinks so," Kira says, pulling Sarah out of her thoughts. "Then I can go back tomorrow."

With that settled, they focus on the food and what Kira wants to do afterwards with Cal.

After lunch and saying good bye to the two of them, Sarah heads back inside. Scott and Cosima are still working. She settles back on the couch and attempts to read _The Origin of the Species_ again. 

She's only made it a few pages when a shadow falls over her.

"Hey Scott."

"Will you talk to her?" he asks.

"About?"

"She needs to lie down," he explains.

"I do not," Cosima calls from the kitchen, obviously short of breath.

Worried, Sarah goes and sits next to her. "He's right."

"I think I know when it's time to stop, guys."

"We're not saying stop," Sarah replies. "Just change locations."

Cosima glances from Sarah to Scott and then back to Sarah. "Fine."

Sarah stands and scoops Cosima up in her arms. It's scary how much weight she's lost. Terrified by this realization, Sarah instead tries to concentrate on making it to the couch while Cosima pulls the oxygen tank behind them. Once she's settled, Sarah and Scott bring everything from the table.

"Thanks," Scott says. "She doesn't listen to me."

"Thanks for trying," Sarah tells him. "And you just have to push a bit more."

"I'm not deaf, you know," Cosima pipes up, pissed. "I can hear you guys."

"I'm just going to go to the bathroom," Scott says.

Sarah sinks onto the couch next to Cosima. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine," Cosima says, waving off the apology. "I just... We're so close. It's frustrating."

"I wish I could help more," Sarah replies.

"Listening to me mull things over does help," Cosima tells her. "It'd just be better if I could talk to..."

Acknowledging the elephant in the room has Sarah feeling useless. "Yeah..."

"But it's fine," Cosima continues. "Scott and I will figure it out."

"I know," Sarah says, worried that it will be too late when they do. "I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, yeah?"

Cosima nods as she tries to hold back a cough.

Standing in the kitchen, watching Cosima and Scott work, Sarah knows she really only has one option. Pulling out her phone, she steps into the backyard.

"Yeah, it's Sarah. We need to meet."


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah meets with Marion Bowles again.

Meeting out in the open almost seems more conspicuous to Sarah, but it wasn't her choice.

"You don't think it's a bit creepy to be at a park without a kid?" Sarah questions as she sits.

"As women, we're less of a threat," Marion replies with a smirk. "Though that's certainly not true for either of us, is it?"

Sarah rolls her eyes, but doesn't respond.

"I would have thought you'd be in a much better mood, Sarah," Marion says. "After all, Cosima and Mr. Smith are making real progress on breaking down the code. They're much closer to a cure than I would have expected after such a short amount of time."

"Who's feeding you information now?" Sarah growls. "I thought you said that we'd be left alone."

"Was there a reason you wanted to meet?" Marion asks. "My time is, unfortunately, limited."

Sarah briefly debates demanding answers about still being observed, but ultimately decides to focus on her initial concern. "How much longer until Delphine can come back? Another scientist would really speed the process along. "

"That is still unknown," Marion replies. "It's a bit of a mess."

"I thought you were in charge now," Sarah says.

"Temporarily," Marion explains. "But there are other things that have to be taken into consideration in relation to Dr. Cormier."

"Meaning you had no intention of bringing Delphine back," Sarah retorts.

"However, I did bring you this," Marion continues as she hands Sarah a cell phone.

Sarah raises an eyebrow as she accepts it.

"Dr. Cormier can be contacted this way without any concern of eavesdropping," she explains.

"And now I'm supposed to trust a phone that you gave me isn't being monitored," Sarah says. "I'm beginning to wonder if you see me the same way Rachel does."

"A challenge to be conquered?" Marion counters. "Hardly. I realize you don't trust me. Have Cal check it over."

"Just because this one is clean, doesn't mean that Delphine's is," Sarah retorts.

"What can I do to convince you that I want a cure to be found as well?" Marion asks.

"I'm not sure that you can," Sarah answers honestly.

"Would talking to Dr. Cormier help?"

Sarah hadn't been expecting that. Though talking to Delphine in front of Marion bloody Bowles might be a really stupid idea.

"She's speed dial two," Marion tells her.

"What's number one?"

"Hers is the only number saved," Marion replies. 

"I don't get what talking to her now would prove," Sarah says.

"What could it hurt?"

It's not really a good argument, but Sarah is curious, so she presses two on the cell. It rings twice before someone picks up.

"Allô? Cosima?"

It's definitely Delphine. "It's Sarah, actually."

"Oh. Has something happened to Cosima?" she asks fearfully.

"No, she's... about the same," Sarah replies. "I just...."

"You do not trust Dr. Bowles," Delphine finishes.

"Yeah."

"Nor do I," Delphine replies. "But..."

"What choice do we have?" Sarah sighs glancing over at Marion.

"Oui." Delphine sighs as well. "She really does want a cure to be found."

"Why?"

"I cannot say yet—"

" _Delphine_ ," Sarah growls.

"Sarah, I cannot on the phone."

Marion is studying Sarah intently, a small smile on her face. Sarah needs to get away from here now. "Look, Delphine, I gotta go. Cos will call you soon, yeah?"

"Oui, yes, that would be good. Sarah, merci."

"Yeah, yeah." Sarah ends the call. 

"Feel better?" Marion asks.

"What are you doing to get her back here?" Sarah questions.

"I have to consider DYAD as a whole," Marion replies. "So until I can find someone to take Delphine's place, she has to stay in Frankfort."

"Fine." Sarah slips the phone into her pocket.

"I'm sure we'll be talking soon," Marion says, standing. "Give my regards to Cosima and your daughter."

Sarah doesn't reply, just waits until Marion is out of sight—as she was instructed, and heads back to the car. Because Sarah had demanded to meet close to the house, the drive back isn't long, but it's enough time for Sarah's paranoia about Scott being a monitor—because it's the most logical choice—to reach epic proportions.

And so she hastily parks in the driveway, stalks into the house, yanks Scott off the couch where he's sitting next to Cosima and slams him against the nearest wall. She doesn't say anything, she's too angry for any sort of coherent sentences. She just stares into his eyes, trying to figure out his game.

Cosima coughing and trying to stop her in the background is what draws her attention away from him. She lets go and he slumps against the wall with a gasp as Sarah turns to Cosima. This seems to calm everyone down a bit and Cosima sinks back onto the couch.

"What... the hell... dude?" Cosima chokes out, glaring at her.

"Someone's still monitoring us," Sarah defends, feeling guilty

"Why..." Cosima tries to ask before she starts coughing again.

Scott appears with a bottle of water as Cosima wipes her mouth with tissue. Cosima accepts it gratefully and takes several small sips.

"Because I just met with Marion bloody Bowles," Sarah says once Cosima looks at her. "And she said that the two of you are much further along than expected."

"You don't think that maybe she was just trying to optimistic?" Cosima questions.

"That's not a word I would use to describe her," Sarah retorts.

"After everything Scott went through to help us, you really think he'd turn around and become a monitor?"

"No." Ashamed, Sarah lets her head drop into her hands. 

"I know it's hard for you," Cosima says. "But maybe not everything has to be a battle."

"Yeah..."

"And maybe you should apologize to Scott?" Cosima prompts.

Sarah looks up at a very anxious looking Scott. "Sorry I slammed you into the wall."

"It's, uh, understandable," he stammers.

"And why didn't you tell me that Dr. Bowles wanted to meet again?" Cosima asks.

"She didn't," Sarah replies. "I did."

"About?"

"Delphine."

"Oh."

"She gave me this," Sarah says, pulling the cell phone out of her pocket. "So you guys can talk."

"So now you trust _her_?" Cosima questions.

"No," Sarah retorts. "But we don't really have a choice, yeah?"

"Not really," Cosima replies.

"And Delphine agrees," Sarah continues.

"You talked to her?"

"Had to make sure, yeah?" Sarah answers handing over the phone. "I told her you'd call. Speed dial two." She looks at Scott. "C'mon, we'll give her some privacy."

He nods, still looking apprehensive.

In the kitchen, Sarah doesn't know what to do with herself, so she starts making tea. Scott sits at the table, watching her.

"They could be monitoring me, you know," he says quietly. "I mean, technically I still work for DYAD."

"Yeah, I know."

"Not helpful, I know," he replies.

"About before—"

"It's fine," Scott interjects. "Well, it's not. But I understand. Just... don't do it again."

Sarah smirks. "I won't."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cosima finally has a chance to talk to Delphine.

“…tell Sarah thank you,” Delphine says. “Without her, we would not be talking.”

“Seriously?”

“Oui,” Delphine replies. “Dr. Bowles and I spoke right after she took over DYAD. She thought minimal to no contact between us was best and I was forbidden to attempt contact.”

“Huh.”

“But today I was given this phone,” Delphine continues. “And told that Sarah is very… persistent.”

Cosima laughs.

“And I know I do not have to worry, because she is looking after you.” There’s some muffled speaking in the background. “I have to go. We can talk again later.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Je t'aime.”

“I love you too.”

Cosima stares at the phone for a moment as a real sense of peace washes over her. Knowing that Delphine is okay, speaking to her, hearing her voice, her laugh, Cosima is just relieved. The call was only five minutes, but tomorrow's will be much longer.

She glances up from her position on the couch towards the kitchen. Sarah and Scott are at the table, untouched tea cups in front of them. Though it could be, it doesn’t seem awkward between them. It seems that they've managed to reach an understanding while she was on the phone. She feels lucky to have them both in her life.

And she still can’t believe the apparent lengths that Sarah went through just so she can talk to Delphine. Cosima had been so worried that Sarah would blame Delphine for Rachel snatching Kira, but Sarah knows that Rachel played them all. (Apparently she'd had time to think about things while being held at DYAD and decided she can no more blame Delphine for what Rachel set up than she can Mrs. S or Felix for not realizing who was really talking to them.) Cosima’s starting to lose track of the number of chess boards she—all of them, really—are pawns on. Even if she definitely doesn’t trust Marion Bowles, Delphine has assured Cosima that, for now, she wants a cure found almost as badly as they do. 

It worries Cosima what will happen once a cure is discovered. Trusting that Scott isn’t her new monitor, doesn’t mean that DYAD isn’t still watching them. She wants to believe that Dr. Bowles was just guessing when she commented on their progress, but it’s probably naive. DYAD’s reach is global and she and Sarah are hiding just around the corner in plain view. Considering that the house sat empty for several days, it wouldn’t be out of the question for it to be bugged.

Of course thinking like that, does her no good; though Cosima does wonder if the thought has occurred to Sarah. If it hasn’t yet, it’s bound to eventually. She should probably prepare herself for that. 

It makes Cosima even more curious about the deal that was supposedly struck on Sarah’s behalf. Because as time goes on, it’s painfully obvious that Cal had absolutely no part in it; that he too was a pawn. It’s both reassuring and frightening. His intentions might have been well intended, but it's possible he's gotten them even more tangled in DYAD's web.

There are still so many unanswered questions and Duncan's suicide ensure that too many (for her liking) will remain that way. Though obviously desperate to figure out the cure, part of Cosima worries about what DYAD is doing while they're distracted. The most obvious answer seems that they'd be gathering up all the other clones. She wishes she knew how many of them there were. Cosima wonders if there's any way Delphine can find out.

In a way, she misses being insulated in the lab, when her only concern had been the science and its implications. Being out in the world, fighting against DYAD, takes Sarah's restless strength. Whereas Cosima feels like she has none. Because in the same way Cosima was nurtured to handle the science, Sarah was nurtured to react and survive. It's why they're stronger together.

Of course at the moment, it's just her and Sarah and that's fine. Alison's been the most resistant to everything clone related. Maybe once a cure is figured out and more of them are together, DYAD will be less of a threat. Then again, that's assuming—

"Oi, Cos," Sarah says, suddenly next to her. "You okay?"

"Yeah, of course," Cosima replies, taking a moment to shake away her thoughts. "Just thinking."

"When aren't you?" Sarah scoffs.

Cosima smiles.

"So you've got a plan now, yeah?" Sarah asks. "You three brainiacs will have it all figured out in no time, yeah?"

"Oh yeah, no doubt."


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix observes Sarah and Cosima together.

It's strange not having Sarah or any of the others barging into Felix's life on a regular basis. The first week is bliss as he enjoys only dealing with his own personal dramas. He and Sarah still talk and Alison calls occasionally as well. But for the most part, he's left to his own devices.

But he's so used to having the others around—they're family after all—that he decides that he and Alison should visit. It's familial and comforting in the most unexpected way, which is probably why he finds himself drawn over there again, a few days later. Though it's obvious how into Sarah Cal is—which is nothing new, really—Felix is curious to see the changed dynamic that is Sarah, Cosima and Kira living together.

The five of them have dinner, him, Sarah, Cosima, Cal and Kira and it's very entertaining. There's a closeness between Sarah and Cosima that he's only seen between himself and Sarah—and it's obvious that while Kira loves it, Cal doesn't seem to know quite how to interpret it. Then again, Sarah and Cosima don't even seem to realize it's happening.

This is especially obvious as Felix learns about making contact with Delphine. The lengths that Sarah is going to for Cosima... Felix could be jealous. After all, he was never enough to make Sarah stick around—him or Kira, but apparently Cosima is.

For now, his mind taunts, voicing his fear that Sarah might still take off once a cure is found. Just because she brought him with her last time... And hell, even then she hadn't been exactly honest about her intentions.

Cosima is as animated as he’s ever seen her and it brings back memories of all those video chats he was part of in the beginning. Breaking Duncan’s code and almost figuring out the cure is definitely a reason to be excited. Cosima dying would be devastating to them all—but Sarah's reaction scares him the most.

Dinner is mostly Cosima trying to explain what she, Scott and Delphine have discovered. The problem is that for the rest of them, the science is way over their heads. Felix watches his sister as she listens to Cosima talk about piecing things together. Sarah is enthralled. Felix knows she doesn’t quite understand what Cosima’s talking about—none of them do, but she doesn’t seem to care. She’s watching Cosima with a lightness and joy that he really only witnesses when Sarah’s around Kira.

When he and Alison had been over the other day, he’d been getting a sense that maybe Sarah and Cosima were becoming… more. He hesitates to become more specific. The two of them are walking a fine line, one that he’s pretty sure neither of them quite realize. After his attraction to Tony… and the kiss, it seems obvious to Felix. He thought that it would have been to Sarah as well, having mentioned it to her, but she does have other things to focus on.

Glancing at Cal, Felix has to hide his smirk. He obviously senses something growing between Cosima and Sarah… and even Kira, but he can’t quite seem to connect the dots. Though amused, he still feels bad for the guy. Another one to fall under his sister's spell. Before she and Cosima had moved into Mrs. S's house, Felix thought he might have had a chance. That seems like even less of a possibility now. He holds back a groan of annoyance, knowing that he's going to be more involved in the fall out then he wants to be, as usual. At least this time he'll probably have a little more support.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unexpected early morning delivery sparks a discussion.

The knock on the door comes very early in the morning and immediately puts Sarah on edge. Anyone at the door at seven in the morning isn't bringing good news. Sarah knows it's not Scott because he shows up at eight every day like clockwork. She opens the door cautiously to find a delivery guy there.

"Uh, hi."

"Morning," he says. "I have some packages for Sarah Manning."

"That's me," she replies.

"All right," he says. "Sign here." He hands her a clipboard and points to a large X in the middle of the sheet.

Sarah signs.

"And here," he adds, pointing to another large X at the bottom.

Sarah does.

"Thanks," he says. "So, uh, where to you want it all?"

"All?"

"Yeah," he replies. "It's like ten packages, at least."

"Uh, just in here, I guess."

He nods and she watches him walk back to the truck, parked next to the camper.

Even using a dolly, it takes six trips total for him to leave sixteen boxes of various sizes.

"Thanks," she says as he sets down what he announces as the last one. 

"Have a nice day," he smiles.

"Uh, you too," she replies as she closes the door.

The first box he brought in has an envelope with her name on it. It took every bit of control she had to wait until the delivery guy left. She knows that whatever it says shouldn't be read in front of a stranger.

She rips it open and pulls out a very formal looking card. The front is blank, but she flips it over to find a scrawling handwritten note.

_Cosima,_

_Congratulations on figuring out Duncan's code and the cure. This should be everything you need to create it. Please let me know if there's anything else you require._

_Sincerely,  
Marion Bowles _

Sarah is seeing red by the time she finishes reading. She should have known better than to trust anyone involved with DYAD. The problem is, that now Sarah _really_ doesn't know who to trust. Was it Scott? Delphine? Did Marion trick her again? Was it the phone Cosima's been using? Or maybe Delphine's? Or is there an even more sinister way that they're being monitored?

Judging by the card, the boxes are filled with expensive scientific equipment that they desperately need and it does answer the unspoken question that they've all had since Cosima announced that she had figured out the cure yesterday. But her relief is being overshadowed by wondering why. Not knowing why Marion keeps helping them is keeping Sarah on edge. Not knowing what else to do, Sarah climbs the stairs to show Cosima the note.

"Did I hear someone at the door?" Cosima asks as Sarah enters the bedroom.

Sarah nods and hands Cosima the card. Sarah wonders what she's telegraphing because Cosima accepts the card and sets it on the bed, unread. Instead, she tugs Sarah towards her. Sarah tries to resist, but Cosima's pout easily wins her over. And so she lets herself tumble onto the bed. Only once they're curled up together, does Cosima read the card.

"They need us to figure the cure out," Cosima says once she's read it twice. "Our goals are still the same."

"I've already checked the house," Sarah replies, relieved that it's one less things to worry about. "If they've bugged us, they did a damn good job of hiding it."

"When did you do that?" Cosima asks lifting her head to stare in surprise.

"While you nerds have been working," Sarah says.

"Oh."

"It's too big of a coincidence," Sarah continues. "I probably walked right into their trap, asking about Delphine."

"Sarah..."

"Why else would she change her mind so easily?" Sarah questions.

"But Cal looked over the phone," Cosima points out. "He said it seemed clean."

"What about Delpine's?" Sarah counters.

"What do you want to do?" Cosima asks.

"We should probably look at all the stuff, yeah?" Sarah replies. "I'll get Cal to help me move it out of the way. We'll get Kira off to school and then we can go through it. Scott should be here by then."

Cosima agrees, so Sarah goes to get Kira up and ready. They have a routine down, so by the time Scott arrives, she and Cal have moved the boxes, Kira is on her way to school and Cosima is happily searching through them. Sarah is pacing at this point because everything that has been sent is apparently exactly what is needed.

"Whoa," Scott says, seeing it all. "Did I miss something?"

"Dr. Bowles sent some things over," Cosima answers. 

"Um, okay," he replies. He looks hesitantly at Sarah. "That's good, right? We can start working on the cure."

"It's hella good," Cosima agrees.

"Except how did she know," Sarah points out. She stares hard at Scott. "Are you sure you're not being monitored?"

"Uh, well, no, but I haven't been talking to anyone about... all this, so..." he shrugs.

Scott joins Cosima in examining everything and figuring out where to put things. Sarah assists as needed and Cal joins in when he returns.

By the time everything is unpacked and set up, there is no denying that they're still being monitored because according to Cosima, they seem to have everything they need. It sets Sarah on edge and she lets out a growl of frustration. She hates feeling like a puppet.

"What are you going to do?" Cosima asks Sarah who is leaning against the wall. 

"I don't know," Sarah replies. "But it's obvious that we're being played again."

"You don't know that, Sarah," Cosima says.

"Don't I?"

"Dr. Bowles wants us to find a cure," Scott offers from his spot on the couch.

"Yeah?" Sarah retorts. "And do _you_ know why?"

Scott shakes his head. 

"Do you really not know, dude?" Cosima asks. "Or is it like a confidentiality thing?"

"I really don't know, Cosima," he replies. "I swear."

Sarah scowls.

"Delphine says we can trust her for a little longer," Cosima reminds them.

" _I know_."

"Are you sure that you can trust Delphine?" Cal asks.

"Yeah," Sarah snaps. "We are."

"You said it yourself," Cal replies, obviously defensive. "She works for DYAD. She's Cosima's monitor. And she's betrayed you before."

"If this is about Rachel taking Kira," Cosima interjects "Delphine was tricked. Just like Mrs. S and Felix thought Rachel was Sarah."

"So she says," Cal retorts.

"It's not up for discussion," Sarah says. "We can trust her."

"You know that for sure?" Cal questions.

Not wanting to explain to him, or in front of Scott, that what she trusts is that Delphine loves Cosima, Sarah just nods. "I do. The problem is that we can't necessarily trust what they've told her."

"And that's why you're worried," Cosima concludes.

"Delphine hasn't said why, has she?" Sarah asks. "If we know why Bowles cares, then maybe we could look into it."

Cosima shakes her head. "Too risky."

"You two should start working," Sarah says, waving distractedly at the equipment. "Talk to Delphine. We'll get you cured and then I can..."

" _We'll_ figure it out," Cosima assures her as she and Scott get started.

Sarah motions Cal to join her outside.

"Before you start," Cal says before the door even finishes closing. "I'm just trying to look out for you and Kira."

"I get that, yeah," Sarah replies. "But I've been dealing with this clone thing for a while now and—"

"And I'm trying to help you deal," Cal reminds her.

"I know," Sarah says. "Thank you."

"And are you really sure about Delphine? Or are you just saying that because of Cosima?" he questions.

"I wouldn't do that," Sarah replies. "Just like she wouldn't. There are no feelings that need to be spared."

"Right, cause you're sisters."

Sarah kind of hates how he's trying to summarize her relationship with Cosima in just one word, that one word. "Yeah..." 

"So you're absolutely positive about Delphine?" Cal asks. "I mean even if there cure is close, Cosima could still—"

"Do not finish that thought," Sarah warns.

"I just mean, are you really sure? Or are you just indulging your ailing sister?" he presses. "And maybe haven't even realized it?"

"We're done talking about this," she tells him because she really can't handle the interrogation coming from him right now; she already has enough to worry about.

"Sarah," he tries.

She shakes her head and stomps back inside the house. Cosima is on the phone with Delphine. Hearing Cosima chuckle at something being said, Sarah tries to ignore the tightness in her chest as she goes through the boxes one more time looking for clues.


End file.
